Re: I start crunching down on blog posts that I need to write and also realize that I need to go back and watch all three videos because the details are starting to blur and that’s yucky. But that’s not the point of this one.
I started studying psychology in a very loose, freeform way back in February. Since that time, I have used my skills in three different fights to hurt another.
And I really really, really hate being able to do that. It destroys things more than harsh but incorrect words, being able to poke at the insecurities of the people I love and stab them right where it hurts. It makes me feel despicable.
So my psychology study for the day has actually been considering whether or not I want to keep doing it, and if not, what to replace it with.
And I haven’t decided yet. There’s a piece of me that likes the power of being able to strike with my words right where it hurts someone. There’s a part of me that wants to know how exactly to crack into someone’s head and be a power there.
But at the same time, when I use my psych powers for good, I know what to say to help or comfort someone. I can see the hurting spots and apply ice and sugar and sweetness to them.
It’s a tough decision.